Slaanesh pretends Jimmy is 21
by JustSagan
Summary: I turned 21 today (September 3rd), and I thought I would make this.


It was a typical, but kinda boring day for Slaanesh. She...He? It was in the process of trying to have a Space Wolf raped to death. Unfortunately for h-It, this Space Wolf had an unusually large amount of sperm.

"My My… How does one last for 100 years? Am I growing soft?"

Years and years of doing weird and messed up things to whoever was unfortunate enough was starting to get dall. There is only so much you can do, and eventually your bound to hit a wall. And ramming someones penis into a wall was also getting boring.

The only thing that could chear Slaanesh up was if a particularly powerful Human had turned 21. Unfortunately, most humans who turn 21 were usually to weak from years of Imperial oppression. It had seemed that Slaanesh was never going to feel the thrill again…

"Oh my… Well atleast I can always just-"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY! I'M TRYING TO WATCH THIS HUMAN KICK ASS!"

Khorne was in the process of watching the one and Only Jimmy Hopkins kick the asses of an entire football team. Normally Slaanesh wouldn't care for such basic violence, but Jimmy was different.

Not only was he young, but he also seemed extremely powerful. Slaanesh got turned on while watching him knee one of the jocks in the nuts, and them immediately knock another jock out in one punch. But what REALLY turned Slaanesh on was the cheerleaders cheering Jimmy on. Jimmy must have really been powerful

"Mhhhhh… Tell me Khrone, who does this planet belong to?"

Khorne already knew what Slaanesh was getting at.

"YOU STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM THERE YOU DICK CUNT CUNT FUCKING FAGGOT LOVING BITCH!"

Slaanesh assumed this meant that the Planet wasn't actually owned by anyone yet. He (It's a he… I think) wanted nothing more than to… Test Jimmy out.

"Well if you excuse me, I have a new play thing to… Play with…"

Khorne ignored him, and continued watching Jimmy. Slaanesh on the other hand began to gather a wide variety of weird sexual Daemons. If she was going to invade Bullworth, mine as well let her Daemons have their fun with anyone they find.

Of Course, it didn't take long for her to find the perfect Daemons. You try saying no the Slaanesh, and see what happens. They were all given strict orders to not kill Jimmy, but she also said they could do whatever else they wanted. Oh and it didn't matter if the other students died.

The Daemon invasion began, and their presence was immediately known to the people of Bullworth. Weird pink looking things that all looked like Modern Art projects stormed the streets. The police could do nothing to stop the rape Daemons.

The plants in the area all turned into Penises and Vaginas. The new plants shot their juices at anyone who was unfortunate enough to be close by. The only ones that actually tried to fight were Townies in the area. But even then, they didn't last long.

At the school, two Preps were hanging out in the green house. Talking about money and other shit like that.

"Boy Gord, I sure do like money."

"You can say that again Justin!"

Their money talk didn't last long. Every plant in the Greenhouse suddenly turned into sentient penises. The penises all started to sexualy assult the two.

"Ohh hoo! NO!"

"OHH MY BUUTTTTTT!"

Their screams went unheard.

Fortunately, Pete noticed all the crazy shit going on, and ran to warn Jimmy. But as he ran through the school, he saw all the other students and faculty having very fucked up things done to them. One of the Daemons almost got Pete, but he managed to make it outside.

Outside was no better. If anything, it was worse.

Every Prefect was trying and failing to save students. They were all being loaded onto ships. They were to be taken back to the Warp.

Pete ran faster than he ever could to the football field. Jimmy was the only one that could have done anything to help… Well, he hoped at least.

"Jimmy! We have some serious trou-"

Any hope that Pete had was gone. Jimmy had already been captured by the largest Daemon. She clearly wanted to have some fun with Jimmy.

"He he ha ha! Oh Jimmy! I dont know if you are gonna live to be 21, but lets pretend its your 21st birthday today!"

Jimmy was stripped, and his body was covered in wounds. Whatever they did to him, it must have been agonizing.

Pete stood there in shock. He knew it was all over… But, it wasn't over. Fortunately for them, a certain Chaos God had invested interest in Jimmy.

"NOOOOOO! FUCK FUCK FUUUUUUUCK! I WONT LET SOME FUCKING WHORE OF A GOD RUIN MY WARRIOR!"

Khorne went to Slaaneshes Space Wolf captive, and freed him from his bindings. The Space Wolf was visibly confused, but happy to be free.

"YOU! IM SENDING YOU TO THIS PLANET! AND YOU BETTER FUCKING KILL EVERYONE OF THOSE PINK WHORES!"

The Space Wolf was more than happy to kill those freaks.

"I'll kill them all! But I need more Space Wolves!"

Back at Bullworth, Pete watched as Daemons slowly closed in on him. He knew no one was coming to save him, and he just hoped that they would at least make it quick…

But as he closed his eyes, he heard the sound of something crashing into the ground in front of him. He opened his eyes, and saw a Grey Drop Pod. The Pod opened up, and A group of Space Wolves ran out.

One of the Space Wolves ran up to Jimmy, and killed all the surrounding Daemons with a Chainsword. Pete watched in aw as the Daemons were so easily killed. He almost felt like crying.

Pete looked back at the school, and saw more Drop Pods coming down. Russell ran out of one of the Pods, covered in Space Wolf armor.

"DONT HURT RUSSELLS LITTLE BUDDIES!"

Every Daemon that tried to stop him was torn apart.

The Space Wolves ran inside of Slaaneshes ships, and rescued all the captive students. Slaanesh watched as his armies were decimated. He knew there was no chance of victory, and stopped sending Daemons.

Khorne watched happily as the Space Wolves violently dealt with their enemies. More importantly, Jimmy was in recovery. One day, he would be a powerful warrior.

Pete found out where Jimmy was, and ran to visit his only true friend. Jimmy was still unconscious, but he was going to make it. Pete decided to stay in the room with him, he didn't want to leave his side.

The Space Wolves finished off the remaining Daemons, and rescued the two Preps from the Green House. They had to have emergency surgery on their asses.

Slaanesh was sad that his invasion had failed, and even sadder that his Space Wolf slave was gone. Khorne on the other hand was overjoyed. His Warrior was guaranteed to live, and Slaanesh was sad. Quite a good day.


End file.
